Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Mighty In'N'Out 5x5

During one of my many trips to Cali last year, I paid homage to In'N'Out burger to take down a 4x4 burger. First off, in case you're unaware, In'N'Out is practically a religion for many people on the west coast. You can start a holy war by stating In'N'Out burger is NOT the best burger you've had in the state. Their burgers actually are very tasty, but it's the extra stuff that you can add to it that makes it stand out.

I usually order a double double, animal style, extra toast, with a whole grilled onion. Quite a tall order for a single sandwich (you can customize your fries as well if you know how). Sadly we'll probably never get to see one here in the midwest.

A 4x4 means that there are 4 meat patties and 4 slices of cheese.  During that time I happily scarfed it down and still had room to tuck away an order of fries.  This year I had to 1up myself by tackling a 5x5.

My quest started by pulling in behind a sea of cars in the drive-thru of the only In'N'Out in Salinas (and yes it's always this packed).  Once I get to the ordering guy and tell him I want a 5x5 he stops and tells me that they can't allow me to order it.  WTF????  "This sandwich is 80% of the reason I flew here from Chicago" I tell him.  Why can't I order one?  He tries to make some excuse about how some people are going nuts with it by ordering 20x20's.  And the problem with that is ????

I finally talk him into selling it to me, they rang it up as a 4x4 and put an extra patty on there that I actually had to put into the burger myself.


After a mixup of who I was meeting up and where we were eating, I finally got to sit inside with a bunch of my cousins and start eating the burger (almost 15 minutes after it was handed to me). After the first few bites I knew that I was biting off more than I could chew (womp womp womp womp). Some of the patties were undercooked and were pink, not a good sign for such thin patties.


Some of my cousins were taking pictures of the effort while others were explaining to other patrons that so happened to be watching what was going on, wondering what it was that I was holding in my hands.  One of the younger cousins was staring in disbelief with her mouth open.

The burger stopped tasting good a while ago.  The amount of cold, undercooked meat and somehow still sweaty cheese really started playing tricks on my mind. I literally started gagging as I was eating.  It became a pride thing at that point as I tried to man up mentally and power through it.  The last 5 bites made my legs go numb and I can truly say that now I know what despair tastes like.  Alas, I had let my ancestors down and was not able to slay the mighty beast, leaving off somewhere between 1/3 and 1/4 of the burger.



Was it a valiant effort?  Maybe, maybe not.  I do know that I will be just fine if I never have to eat In'N'Out burger again.... at least not until my next trip out west ;)

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