I also have some theory about the kind of cutting or slicing apparatus they use to slice the meat. I've seen some fully automatic shavers that look like the small face vacuum mounts for when you're trying to clean your curtains. They seem really impressive on how they make quick, accurate, consistent cuts. To me, nothing beats a traditional handheld long blade for slicing. I like varying pieces of meat, it gives each bite more variety.
The last thing I notice is how dark the meat is before being sliced. This usually doesn't stop me from ordering but I really like it when the edges are slightly crispy, almost even slightly burnt. This does all sorts of things to the seasoning of the lamb. Speaking of meat, is gyros meat really just straight up lamb?
To revert back a little, I really need to talk about the first thing I notice, and I mean before I even walk into a fast foot joint that sells gyros. If they have the Kronos sign in the window I know it's all good. That's the thumbs up sign that says "come in bro, we aren't going to microwave your meal for you." I can't say I've done any official research but experience has taught me that if you don't have Kronos you don't have $@%#.
I was at the local Walmart the other day getting my car worked on so I was perusing the frozen food section to buy a little time. I usually will check out the CPK section to see what pizzas they have. Then it caught my eye. The gyros kit. Now I've seen my share of gyros kits before, even tried a few when I was young and foolish and didn't think twice about desecrating my taste buds. But this one had something different, it had the familiar red Kronos logo on it (along with a bunch of other gyros buzzwords that could put a smile on Tom Thibedau's face.
Despite a reasonably tasty looking cover picture, the kit consists of 3 primary things: Tzatziki sauce, 6 whole pitas, and roughly 18 meat slices cut as thin as bacon. :( This was an immediate disappointment. Bacon deserves its own blog post but I usually eat it by itself to fully appreciate the flavor and texture of it. Putting 3 thin slices per gyros sandwich angers me almost as much as McDonalds trying to limit me to just 3 sauces for a 20 piece mcnuggets! C'mon man!
Here you can see the 3 slices being prepared the best way that I could muster given I don't own any fancy kind of roasting devices. When you try to pull the frozen meat slices apart they have a tendency to tear easily.
The whole process took so long to prepare that I just jumped into eating and forgot to take a photo of the entire gyros. Notice how scant and lonely the innards look? Would you send this back if you were at *name-your-favorite-gyros-greasepit-here*? I know I would.
Taste: 3 out of 10
The sauce they give isn't too bad. I'd recommend putting six slices of the meat per sandwich if you can swing it. The taste of the meat, to paraphrase Simon Cowell, "I'm not jumping out of my chair but it was ok". Also, you'll have to supply your own tomatoes and onions.
Value: 7 out of 10
The kit costs under $9 and can make anywhere from 2 to 6 sandwiches depending on how sparing your are with portions. The average gyros at most grease pits is $5.
Bottom line: don't bother with frozen gyros, not even if you're desperate.
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